March 29th

This Hacker hit his drive out of bounds and the ball came to rest in the middle of a large red ant bed. He figured he would hit it from that lie, so he took his stance, took a big swing, missed the ball and ants went flying everywhere.

He tried again, and same as before, missed the ball and again, ants were flying everywhere.

After the third gigantic swing and miss, one ant said to another one, "If we're going to save ourselves, we better get on the ball."

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THREE SURGEONS

Three surgeons were one day talking about their best work ever. The first one: "Once, one of my cousins horribly injured his leg in a car accident. It was completely crushed, yet I managed to rebuild it, and since there was nothing I could do about the bones, I took a chance and used plastic sticks. And what do you know, today he's walking just fine!" The other two express their amazement.

The second one said: "Last year my own mother lost her eyesight completely in an accident. There was really no way to make her see again, her eyeballs were completely ruined, so I took a chance and replaced her eyes with glass eyes. I hooked them up with her nerves, and, what do you know, today she sees perfectly!" The other two are even more amazed.

The third one goes: "A few months ago my uncle, who's a lumberjack, accidentally chopped off his right hand. I operated immediately and, having no other choice, replaced his hand with a rubber glove filled with sawdust. I connected it to the arm and after a few weeks, what do you know, he's using it just fine!"

"Wait a darn minute," blurts the second one, "now this story is a bit TOO MUCH! Who's ever seen something like THAT happen?"

"Your mother with her glass eyes..."

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RULES KIDS WON'T LEARN IN SCHOOL

Unfortunately there are some things that children should be learning in school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. As a modest back-to-school offering, here are some basic rules that may not have found their way into the standard curriculum.

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often, you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new lease on life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom, nor a soap opera. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid.

Maybe you should start now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding our cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then my car horn beeped, and I was able to locate my vehicle easily. Wow," the woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car."

"Actually," I replied, "that's my husband."

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MORNING CALL

A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo."

The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket.

After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?"

"That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy who I put off in Buffalo!"

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FRIENDS HUNTING

Two men were out hunting in the woods. One of them was a fanatical huntsman and he went hunting as often as he could.

The other was his friend who is a peaceful nature loving fellow, who didn't really want to hurt anything.

They had been out in the woods for some time, when they picked up the tracks of a deer. They soon caught up with it, and when they saw it, it was obvious why it had been so easy to catch up to - it had a terrible infection over it's left eye, which it couldn't even see out of.

The hunter started to take aim with his shotgun, but his friend begged him to stop.

Hey! he said, "Can't you see that's a bad eye deer?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cow Business

A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman
sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his
sorrows in his beer.

"What's up, John?" asked the farmer.

"Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon,
I'm gonna have to close my shop."

"Now John, things could be worse," said Bob.

"How do you figure?" asked John.

"Well, John - you know my ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her
this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I
grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the
nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to
the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me!
But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie
her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you
just know it...my damn pants fell down."

"And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to
MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you TODAY!"



----------------------------------------------------------------------
**Things you'll never hear a man say:

1) Here honey, you use the remote.
2) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I
gotta see!
3) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Aww, forget Monday Night football, let's watch Ally McBeal.
5) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
6) We never talk anymore.


**Things you'll never hear a woman say:

1) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch
TV.
3) Ohh, this diamond is way too big! Don't you have something
smaller?
4) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to
figure out how to get there.
5) I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way too much for a
designer dress.


*------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to
start drinking. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on
the floor.

The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the
bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!"

The man replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."

____________________________________________________________
The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy. "Why didn't you watch where it went?" he asked.

"Well sir," said the boy, "it don't usually go anywhere, so when you did hit the ball, it sort of caught me by surprise!"

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GOOD NEWS

Steinberg and Fleisher, partners in the garment industry had just suffered through their worst season ever. Ten thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer.

Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't have any madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."

Steinberg said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal was made whereby the ten thousand jackets would be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.

"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as planned."

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday passed slowly, with the partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would change his mind. Friday morning went by without incident. Steinberg and Fleisher were closing up shop when, at ten minutes to five, there was a knock on the door: ..."Telegram!"

The partners froze. Trembling, Fleisher grabbed the telegram and opened it. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Steinberg, GREAT NEWS! Your sister died!"

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A TALKING DOG

There was a guy who took his dog into a bar. Upon seeing the dog, the bartender tells the owner that dogs were not allowed into the bar.

"Oh, this dog is special. This dog can talk," the owner said.

"Really," the bartender replied, "Sure it can 'speak,' like almost any dog."

"No," the owner said, "This dog can actually talk like a normal human."

The bartender couldn't believe this for one second. He then decided to make a bet with the owner. "I tell you what, I'll give you free drinks for the evening if that dog can do what you're saying."

The owner turns to the dog and asks, "What is the top of the house?" The dog answers, "Roof!"

The dog owner continues, "What is my name?" The dog answers, "Ralph!"

Then dog owner asks the dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog answers, "Ruth!"

Upon hearing this, the bartender picks up the owner and the dog and throws them out the door.

While sitting on the sidewalk, the dog turns to the owner quite confused,

"What? Ty Cobb?!?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a story about four people named: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it! It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!

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TRACK RECORDS

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 16 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 20!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 37 races, I've won 29!" says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening.

"I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 91 races, I've won 89 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wowwwww!" says one, after a hushed silence.

"A talking dog."

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MOVING DAY

When my father-in-law passed away, we had to clear out his home. We discarded many items and sold some others, but my husband decided to keep the beautiful but very heavy antique dining-room set. Our teenaged son helped us wrestle the set into our pickup truck. It took the whole day, but finally the table, chairs, and china cabinet were sitting in our own dining room.

"Just think," I said as I admired the furniture while my son sat resting. "This set is 100 years old. And one of these days, it will belong to you."

"Oh, no!" he replied with a stricken look on his face. "You mean I'm going to have to move this thing AGAIN?"


REALLY?
***********************************************
Classic Cute Stories

CHRISTMAS CARD

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a
mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative
called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I
take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was
shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my
reflection in the mirror -- wearing nothing but a camera!


MY FOOTSTEPS?

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about
her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the
doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little
girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my
heart," thought my friend, "my daughter wants to follow in my
footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Welcome to
McDonald's. May I take your order?"


A WISE LITTLE GIRL

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she
must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday
School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She
replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."


TOO ROUGH

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with
the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys,
they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few
moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with
him?"


THUMB SUCKING

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his
thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to
reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the
habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you
don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up
like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and
son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old
considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying,
"Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."


SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were
on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people
are sleeping."



----------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear the new California quarter's reverse side
features a bear, a miner, a condor, a redwood, and poppies?
The engraving depicts the bear observing the miner as he
cooks the condor over a redwood fire he made after smoking
a distillate of the poppies.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat
as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as
the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center
of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse
me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops,
excuse me."

By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her
and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have
done this a little earlier?" "No!!" she said in a loud
whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just
flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

_____________________________________________________________
When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where
occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress
down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A
student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed.
"You should wear clothes like that every day. You look, like,
twenty years younger.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Artifacts are a major portion of an American-Indian reser-
vation's economy. Annually, thousands of tourists visit
reservations and most will not leave without purchasing at
least one memento of the traditional Indian culture.

One enterprising Indian was able to outsell his competitors
in the sale of wooden dolls by selling them at only a
fraction of the cost others had to charge. On examination
of his dolls they found that where traditionally hard wood
was used, this Indian would use cheap pine on which he glued
thin pieces of fine mahogany, thus being able to produce
the dolls at only a fraction of the cost.

While he claimed his dolls were still authentic, his com-
petitors complained that it was only a cheap Sioux Veneer.

_____________________________________________________________
Usually the secretary at my son's school answers when I call,
but on this occasion I spoke to an unfamiliar voice. I men-
tioned this to my 11-year-old son and asked if he knew who it
was.

"It could have been Mrs. Campbell," he answered after thinking
it over. "Did it sound like she was wearing a blue coat?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

When the wise company president learned that his employees
were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their
lunch hours, he issued the following memo:

To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour,
please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to
know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.

_____________________________________________________________
After many years of trying, the Russian family was finally
able to bring grandpa to America to live with them. The old
gentleman could only speak Russian.

Each day when the family members were at work grandpa would
spend his time in the park, walking, watching the children
play and feed the ducks a few crumbs he brought along. So
that he would be able to get a little something to eat they
taught him to say, "apple pie, coffee."

Each day he would go to the nearby deli, climb on a stool at
the counter and say to the counterman, "Apple pie, coffee."

This worked well for him until one day he decided that he
just couldn't take another piece of apple pie. So the family
taught him to say, "Ham sandwich, coke."

He went to the park the next day looking forward to being
able to order a ham sandwich in stead of apple pie. Smiling
to himself he climbed onto the stool at the counter and
waited his turn.

When the counterman asked for his order he proudly said,
"Ham sandwich, coke."

To which the counterman asked, "White or rye?"

The old man replied, "Um, apple pie, coffee."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher
to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient
into the doctor's office.

Before taking this dog's leash, I glimpsed those large teeth
of hers and asked the owner, "Is she friendly?"

"Friendly?" said the man. "Friendly? She's had five litters!
How much 'friendlier' than that can she get?"

_____________________________________________________________
I'm sure if the customer had taken two seconds, he probably
would have come up with the answer to his question on his
own. But instead he called information.

"I'm looking for the number of a business," he said when I
picked up his call.

"What's the name of the business?" I asked.

"1-800-FLOWERS."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he
was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no
one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with
bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see
his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the
luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the
colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape
on the sides.

"I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like
this?" he asked.

"Actually," the man replied, "I was wondering who did this to
my luggage."

_____________________________________________________________
Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be
passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other
if she would like a beer. The other nun answered that
would be good, but that she would feel uncomfortable about
purchasing it. The first nun said that she would handle it
and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.

The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said,
"The beer is for washing our hair."

The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the
counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the
beer. "Here you go, sister," she said, "don't forget the
curlers."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back
was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait
till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my
mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move if
he's not on it."

_____________________________________________________________
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag
a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting
work; the guys were getting tired just watching.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and
they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders
and get a better view of their wives working.

This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ulti-
mately led to television...and later to the remote control.
--Dave Berry


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet and
instructs the guy to hit him as hard as possible on the head.

The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden
block.

The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing.

Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the
hospital and goes.... "Taa-Daa!"

_____________________________________________________________
I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually
barreled into our vet practice. Spotting a training video
we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one.

"How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check. "Do I
just have him watch this?"

[Borrowed from Reader's Digest.]

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where
my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in
at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard
security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that
you didn't pack yourself?" he asked.

I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to
take to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked: "Does she like you?"

_____________________________________________________________
The church I serve has a summer ministry at a chapel. At
our first service last summer, the chairman of the Board of
deacons met me at the door with the Information that there
were no offering plates to be Found. None of the men wore
hats, and he thought it Undignified to pass a shoe. He had
tried to borrow Something suitable from a house nearby, but
no one Was home.

When I went to the chancel to begin the service, the problem
was still unsolved. Time came for the offering, and two
ushers walked down the aisle wearing broad grins and carrying
shiny receptacles. The deacon had resourcefully borrowed two
hubcaps from a parishioner's car.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept
refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what,"
he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you
name the boat?"

Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went
to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw
painted on the side: "For Sale."

_____________________________________________________________

A frantic guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a
stranger, "Buddy, please, can you loan me a hundred bucks?
My wife had a terrible accident and I need to get her to
the hospital."

The stranger says, "If you so desperately need a hundred
dollars, what are you doing in a casino?"

The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My 2 1/2-year-old niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to
a Catholic church for First Communion practice. The pastor
has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the
"Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says,

"God be with you."

Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She
came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down.
Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in
her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice,

"God will get you!"

_____________________________________________________________
My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion.
So when an advertising company offered to put my father's
business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my
dad jumped at the chance.

Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced
to those placards.

"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.

"That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?"

"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my
yard, and I want you to come and get it."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of
her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the
baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a
boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy
to give this information over the phone.

"Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me
what she didn't have?"

"It wasn't a boy," came the reply.

_____________________________________________________________
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function,
and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which
the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me,
Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency
in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question
which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person
hesitates, that puts you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"

The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous
laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would
you? I must confess I don't know much about history."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

I overheard my father telling a family friend about my newly-
assigned mission in the U.S. Coast Guard. I work on a cutter
that escorts all cruise ships and international vessels under
the bridges in California's Bay Area.

But what my father told his friend was, "She's involved in
some sort of escort service."

_____________________________________________________________
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came
upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about
the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you
laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work,
the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."

"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a
Christian?"

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the
farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking
for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."

The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer,
"Are you lost?"

"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.

"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated
preacher asked.

This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When is
it gonna be?"

Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher
replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his
brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my
wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three
days."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school
nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I
noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything
to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught
cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

_____________________________________________________________